Dear,
I am a child without a mouth to speak for my own right. I am so strong yet so frail in accepting the fact that things are no longer the same when I was a child. Things became more vibrant of them and force me to choose among them. I just cannot close my eyes and escape the facts of who I am now. Everything is a lie whenever I close my eyes to these things. What else can I do? I have to confess to you that I am no longer yours.
My dear, things are not all the same. If they are, they are just illusion of our illusive reality of dreams. Dreams are either true or just an imagination. Mine is true but I am still imagining it for now. At least, I have the truest feeling that this imagination is convictions of what I can see of my future. I have a feeling that you are now sad and confused. I know you will not understand me for now since you have not seen the same light that I saw, ever since I left our romantic love. Let me explain you everything, at least for this last letter that I will leave to you as fragrant lavenders you always love to keep in your wallet.
Five years ago, we have the same true imagination that our romantic love will be forever, that things will be better as we grow with the same beauty of our compassion to music and the arts, and someday we will have the same opportunity to be one. But, human as we are, our love is mortal and our imagination has never been anticipated into concreteness of world reality. We are just but renters of the world once we have shared and I realized it was just the beginning of my life. And so, I have to give up everything we have just shared and loved as one. I would like to further this for you: I want things to be clear for you.
One time, I was talking to you that my decision was clear. It was a four-day-decision but things were fortunate because I knew that was it. I received a light from my heart that I was not really for you and someone else deserves me. It was not really an accident because I chose that way. I chose a good choice, and everything is fine now.
There was this man who asked me to come with him to somewhere I really belong. I followed him thoroughly until we arrived at the place. I enjoyed so much the sceneries and the sunlight vistas are far more amazing than what we have seen. Everybody, who is present, is giving a bright smile to me. Happiness overflowed in me and I was converted. I lost my mind; I lost my thought of you and forgot that I was not anymore with you. I fell in love with the place and the responsibilities given to me. At present, I am the one who is entrusted of everything here when it comes to watering the thirst plant. And, I am enjoying things so much. I can see something in the future just the way I am imagining it now. The man told me that everything would be more vibrant everyday.
They are training me now to prepare me for the next responsibility I will have. I am ok. Do not worry so much. For now, I do not think things will be absurd because I know that this imagination is not the same as what we had.
Thank you! I hope you will keep in your heart that I will be a blessing for everybody if I am going to make this. Goodbye for now!
Your post-lover,
a seminarian
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
God. ...so, he
We call God, for sure, as the source of all good –definitely without securing our thought
to a well grounded reason at least for some who do not dare to give their mind-satisfaction. This good is equivalent to our view that what is with God are all that is perfect, that is, we expect him to give what is due to his power. We deny it or not, what lies behind our curious mind is the expectation that God will not hesitate to give what he can truly give. The less of his goodness becomes our miserable frustrations –we call them sufferings. From here, we believe that God is, nevertheless, the cause as well of our imperfection (as determinism is applied in this line of thinking).He as well causes our own tendency to choose this imperfection –in layman’s term , we call this evil.
Suffering is naturally built-in gift of the nature as an ordinary observer would put it. The nature or cosmos itself reveals itself as imperfect, and without reservation, calling us not to choose between the lines of whatever she has to offer for a day. When it thunders and somebody has been hit by a deadly lightning, it does and no other question. But, since God has to be the source and designer of the nature, he becomes the primary suspect. We see ourselves as mere victims of his ‘perfect’ design (as it means fitting to be lived-in by creatures). We take the action of the nature as if she acts justly according to whatever God wills about her. From here, we can clearly see how God can be subject to his role in “natural” evil. Yet, logically, it is redundant to say this if we are to consider our first argument being God as the source of all that is good. Another question arises that asks whether individuals have their role as well to cause ‘natural’ evil.
In fact, we are careful when we talk about natural evil since we are afraid to face it with courage. It seems for us that natural calamities (e.g. earthquakes, landslides, hurricanes, floods etc.) are deterministically [caused and] willed by the goodness of God. But, if we are to plan properly, we can see that these natural evil must have been evolved throughout our history.
Thousand years ago, at least 10,000 years ago, human beings are just 1 percent of the whole population of flora and fauna of the world. Now, at least 98 percent of very wide chasms of natural and engineered species are humans. Tracing it, from the very start we survived because we knew that everything was good because what we did were only things necessary for living and self-preservation. Things evolved economically, and we saw things between the lines of whatever necessary and what we do not have –things and nature become jealous of us, as if we have nothing at all. Through and through, good and bad emerged and nature became its source. Then, humans saw that there is God, and good comes from him and evil becomes an ‘absolute ignorance.’ In return, human saw that God must be the answer, putting an ‘absolute wisdom’ as the answer to the ‘absolute ignorance’ (like a hole topped by a bubble gum we chewed for a thousand years of idleness. And, God becomes the source of absolute things including the absolute wisdom. From this leap, or shall we call it transition, God was vaguely accepted as source of “what, who and why” of the world without referral to whatever is neutral or lacking on its foundation.
Given the fact that God created us with the acceptance of our evolution as human, are we to blame God on the natural things that never fitted our own expectations? Moral evils are works of man due to the vague evolution and extension of his potentialities to nature. His withdrawal to the static acceptance of his natural necessities becomes the natural force to think about his own jealousy towards nature. What is suffering anyway when it has not been thought as such. Moral evil came first, then, we thought of it as naturally comes from nature who revealed to us as a jealous Mother.
to a well grounded reason at least for some who do not dare to give their mind-satisfaction. This good is equivalent to our view that what is with God are all that is perfect, that is, we expect him to give what is due to his power. We deny it or not, what lies behind our curious mind is the expectation that God will not hesitate to give what he can truly give. The less of his goodness becomes our miserable frustrations –we call them sufferings. From here, we believe that God is, nevertheless, the cause as well of our imperfection (as determinism is applied in this line of thinking).He as well causes our own tendency to choose this imperfection –in layman’s term , we call this evil.
Suffering is naturally built-in gift of the nature as an ordinary observer would put it. The nature or cosmos itself reveals itself as imperfect, and without reservation, calling us not to choose between the lines of whatever she has to offer for a day. When it thunders and somebody has been hit by a deadly lightning, it does and no other question. But, since God has to be the source and designer of the nature, he becomes the primary suspect. We see ourselves as mere victims of his ‘perfect’ design (as it means fitting to be lived-in by creatures). We take the action of the nature as if she acts justly according to whatever God wills about her. From here, we can clearly see how God can be subject to his role in “natural” evil. Yet, logically, it is redundant to say this if we are to consider our first argument being God as the source of all that is good. Another question arises that asks whether individuals have their role as well to cause ‘natural’ evil.
In fact, we are careful when we talk about natural evil since we are afraid to face it with courage. It seems for us that natural calamities (e.g. earthquakes, landslides, hurricanes, floods etc.) are deterministically [caused and] willed by the goodness of God. But, if we are to plan properly, we can see that these natural evil must have been evolved throughout our history.
Thousand years ago, at least 10,000 years ago, human beings are just 1 percent of the whole population of flora and fauna of the world. Now, at least 98 percent of very wide chasms of natural and engineered species are humans. Tracing it, from the very start we survived because we knew that everything was good because what we did were only things necessary for living and self-preservation. Things evolved economically, and we saw things between the lines of whatever necessary and what we do not have –things and nature become jealous of us, as if we have nothing at all. Through and through, good and bad emerged and nature became its source. Then, humans saw that there is God, and good comes from him and evil becomes an ‘absolute ignorance.’ In return, human saw that God must be the answer, putting an ‘absolute wisdom’ as the answer to the ‘absolute ignorance’ (like a hole topped by a bubble gum we chewed for a thousand years of idleness. And, God becomes the source of absolute things including the absolute wisdom. From this leap, or shall we call it transition, God was vaguely accepted as source of “what, who and why” of the world without referral to whatever is neutral or lacking on its foundation.
Given the fact that God created us with the acceptance of our evolution as human, are we to blame God on the natural things that never fitted our own expectations? Moral evils are works of man due to the vague evolution and extension of his potentialities to nature. His withdrawal to the static acceptance of his natural necessities becomes the natural force to think about his own jealousy towards nature. What is suffering anyway when it has not been thought as such. Moral evil came first, then, we thought of it as naturally comes from nature who revealed to us as a jealous Mother.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Ang Larong Pang-isahan
Masarap maglaro kung nagiisa. Hindi mo na kinakailangan pang maghanap ng iyong makakalaban: mas challenging ang kalaban mo -ang iyong sarili. Hindi ka makakasakit ng iba at maaari mo pang pigilan ang iyong sarili sa ano mang pagtatangka sa iyong buhay. Mamamatay ka man ay kasalanan mo rin.
Tingnan mo na lamang sa kabilang banda: walang abala. Ikaw ang syang magsisilbing hari. Walang aagaw ng iyong trono at pwede mong iputong sa iyong ulo ang anomang uri ng metal na korona. Lagayan mo pa ito ng iba't ibang uri ng nakasisilaw na bato. Tapos, matutuwa ka sa sarili mong anyo. Titingnan mo ito sa salamin at mamamangha. Iikot ka sa saya na para bang madulas ang sahig.
Bibili ka ng kahit ano. Bibili ka na rin ng sarili mong malabahagharing mundo. Ikaw ang syang titira at magiging mamamayan. Hindi ka malulungkot dahil masaya ka sa sarili mong katayuan. Magagalak ka sa anyo nitong isang ilang na natubagan ng maiitim at maputing kulay. Ikaw ang syang pipili ng sarili mong temperatura: malamig, maiinit, maligamgam.
Hindi ba't napakasaya ng may sarili kang sarili. Iiwanan mo ang iyong katauhan at mabubuhay sa sarili mong bango. Hay... napakasaya nga.
At sa pagikot mo sa harap ng maringal na salamin, matutumba ka at malalaglag ang iyong koronang gawa lamang pala sa tanso at ang mga batong graba lamang pala. Iiyak ka matapos mong masaling ang pagpapanggap. Mananatili ka sa ganoong posisyon sa matagal na minuto. Mapapahiya ka sa harap ng salamin na kukumausap sa iyo ng katotohanan. Hindi mo kasi pinakinggan ang salamin mong tapat lagi sa kung ano ka. Mahilig ka kasi maglaro ng kung ano-ano ng sabay-sabay. Kahit hindi mo alam ang laro, sinusubukan mo.
Sa susunod maglaro ka uli mag-isa at gawin mong kasama ang iyong sarili sa salamin. Kahit mag-isa kang naglalaro, mararamdaman mong alam mo ang larong ito. Kalaro mo ang sarili mong totoo. Ano kung mag-isa ka sa larong ito. Maswerte ka: kalaro mo na ang sarili mo sa salamin.
Masaya pa.
Kay Maningning
Lunurin mo ako
'mababaw na ang tubig
ikatig sa lupa ang bangka
'ako'y naiwanan sa taib
humalakhak ka ng humalakhak
isan'tabi ang tunay mong halimuyak
talikuran mo ang tunay na mukha
'yong paghihimagsik
babalik man ako o hindi
ibaling ang luha sa malinis mong batis
sa indayog ng 'yong halakhak
manatili sa galak
malunod na ako
mabaling na ang galak
sa naubos mong pag-irog
aahon sa tubig
'lulunurin ang sarili
sa muling pagtigil ng iyong
matatamis na halakhak
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